The Weekend Edition · Friday, October 16, 2026 · Issue No. 3
The Meridian is SATIRE. Just the Facts boxes are real reporting. Everything else is made up.
The Meridian
We take the news you already scrolled past and hand it to a rotating cast of people who should never have gotten these jobs.
Top Story
CNN Finally Has An Original Idea; Steven Crowder Says It’s His
“Truth: not one person in this story has changed their mind since 2016.” — Dex “Six-Leg” Mancuso
The Briefing
Seniors Get 3.6% Raise To Beat 3.7% Prices. Math Department Not Consulted.
The Sit-Rep
Marine Files After-Action Report On Amazing Race Team Defeated By A Rug
Wellness & Hustle
ER Nurse Triages Meal Named After Dog Food, Pages Nearest Vegetable
Issues drop every Tuesday and Friday
In this issue
Your guide to the weekend
- 01Top StoryCNN Finally Has An Original Idea; Steven Crowder Says It’s Hisby Dex “Six-Leg” Mancusop. 3
- 02The BriefingSeniors Get 3.6% Raise To Beat 3.7% Prices. Math Department Not Consulted.by Neil Kessler and Margo Halep. 4
- 03The Sit-RepMarine Files After-Action Report On Amazing Race Team Defeated By A Rugby Boyd Tolliverp. 5
- 04Wellness & HustleER Nurse Triages Meal Named After Dog Food, Pages Nearest Vegetableby Kenzie Ashford-Valep. 6
- 05TechnologyLeaker Promises GTA 6 If Memecoin Hits $30 Million; Memecoin Declines To Participateby Walt Henskep. 7
- 06The BriefingCandidate Wings Her Opening Statement; Opponent Wings The Whole Forumby Neil Kessler and Margo Halep. 8
- 07The WireQuick hitsby The Staffp. 9
Overheard
Desk notes
- Kenzie and the vending machine are not speaking.
From the editor
Kenzie is back. So is Dex. Dana is in a holding pattern. She will land when it is her turn. — The Editor
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Just the Facts are real reporting. Everything after is made up.